I'M not YOUR DAMN ROLE MODEL

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THECREDITS

Designer: Shihui,♥

i feel like punching people....i'm serious.
dont know why i so fed-up.
stayed at home almost everyday..
and yaa i spent all my money already...Fukc!!!!!
sigh now my earn money laa....eeee
ou ya hor maybe this is why im so fed-up laa
but seriously i no money ler leh.


FKUC ARHGG....&%^$#$^@
how i wish money can fall from the sky.....woa you all imagine how good.

ok enough of day dreaming,,,hhm how can i get money
work?
cheat?
steal?
aiyah lame laaa, see i think of money until like that...
CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME.....

i get very fustrated easily this few days, not sure why...almost get fed up over every single thing. by the way, until now i havent enjoy my holidays yet, seems very boring. the only activities i have and can go out of house to do something meaningful are supplimentary classes, but only 2 days..sigh..boring...then i have AKE(annual kayaking expedition)4 days gonna be very tiring. i dont think im fully prepared for it though, but i just pray hard i can complete it without feeling very tired, and then after AKE i have Spec course, this is even worse although its only for 2 days, the CLTS ,Sirs there comfirm tekan until ar i dont know how to explain..i also dont think im prepared for that. also pray hard that i can pass the course get promoted to 2nd sergeant...then i can be very proud...ar, then after that next year i can go senior spec course then can be promoted to staff sergeant...that will be good enough for me. staff sergeant will do.

wake up so early to send my brother to school...but never mind laa i help my mom mah,she need to go work. then stay at home facing walls..Fukc sial
then fetch him back after school.waited for mom then went to school..only a few people only, both mdm Rekah & mrs Ong say i good lah. but sometimes talk too much and must improve my chinese.. must read more chinese newspapers, at least its better then having tuitions. then accompanied mom to civic, she wants to go to the CPF there dont know do what. i waited outside then when NTUC bought some stuff then go home le. woah my life boring right?....sigh

i often get jealous over some things that i dont hav because i dont come from a rich family.
people get to go overseas for holidays.i dont often get to do that.
people get to have what ever they want, but that doent happen to me.

but this song kind of change my way of thinking. just the lyrics itself...
i'm considered good already. other poeple in other countries is even worse then you can imagine.you can read it yourself..ignore the vulgarities and the 'AMEN' because i also not sure what that means...title of the song = 'HANDS HELD HIGH" by LINKIN PARK
intend to put the song so you all can listen, and you would understand...but i dont know how...haha paiseh paiseh...sorry sorry

by the way its about terrorism, natural disaster something like that lahh..

ok here goes:

Turn my mike up louder I got to say something
Light weights step to the side when we come in

Feel it in your chest the syllables get pumping
People on the street they panic and start running

Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
I jump on my mind, I summon the rhyme, I'm dumping

Feeling the blind I promised to let the sun in
Sick of the dark ways we marched to the drumming

Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
Fuck that I wanna see some fists pumping

Miss something, take back what's yours
Say something that you know they might attack you for

Cause I'm sick of being treated like I had before
Like the stupid standing for what I'm standing for

Like this war's really just a different brand of war
Like it doesn't cater the rich and the fan and poor

Like they understand you in the back of the jet
When you can't put gas in your tank

These fuckers are laughing the way to the bank and cashing the check
Asking you to have the passion and have some respect

For a leader so nervous in an obvious way
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"

[Chorus]
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
[End Chorus]

In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen

World is cold the bold men take action
Have to react to get blown into fractions

Ten years old is something to see
Another kid my age drug under the jeep

Taken and bound and found later under the tree
I wonder if he thought the next one could be me

Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the guts with bullet proof vests away

It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew up the mosque yesterday

There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes

My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine

On the back, he handwrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die

Meanwhile, the leader just talks away
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
both scared and angry "what did he say?"

[Chorus]
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you
[End Chorus]
(copied from likin park lyrics)

today not a single teacher teach in our class, because we hav collect the food other people donated for the needy people mah. go around school like no body's business like that...we collected quite alot man...actually Riversidian very generous people one, its just they want to wait for others to take action first,i also lahh hahah. we did sorting of the food during CD period, waited for 1hour like that for the teachers...dont know they got what...then actually the ITRR room ehm 1 or 2 lah outside staff room one..should be ours...then one teacher not sure what's her name came in and chase us out just because she need the room....WHAT IS THAT MAN!!!WTH
then mr wong,mr kok and ehm mr radah or rajah? send all the things there there's quite alot...but then only iswandi, alex and me followed...thought the place we going very far but its only opposite admiraty mrt station only...mr kok's car power ar dont kno how to say laa...its awsome...then after that then go home already lor...tomorrow got meet the parents session, sigh!!! i hate holidays. i always felt this way everytime during holidays....HOLIDAYS SUCK!!! not saying i like school very much lah, but if i have a choice i would rather choose school days...everyone out there! enjoy your holidays!!!

im bored man, so boring until dont kno how to say ar...

wake up 6.30 for no reason, intend to sleep more longer. but need to send my brother for tuition, his tuition start at 9, then why i wakr up so early? because my mom going out for work at around 6.30 so she call me wake up she scared i over slept...i dont like to use alarm cloak thats why. then waited for my brother, then only after about 15 minutes he came out. so i ask what happened...then he say today no tuition...then i was very fed up lahh....WTH man!!! wake up so early just to send him there for no reason...then take bus home, feeling very sleepy.
then slept the afternoon woke up by the noise lahh my bro on TV then the volume so loud. waohpiang!!!

got back results already
eng:76/100
maths:72/100
sci:72/100
cpa:84/100
eoa:72/100

wake up very early in the morning 5am, reach scl at about 6am...second person to reach scl. the first was a sec 1 boy, we were they for morning PT...then waited until 6.30 then start...after PT went to hall...got the dont kno wad presentations.
then go back to class after the presentations.teacher give back our papers.i got a lot of subject deproved leh...english i no longer first liao, eoa also no longer first liao. but science still remain on top hehe maths also quite good,over all i quite satisfied with my results lah...ok lah i kno i very action. but wad to do? hahaha. then intend to take bus home but huiling say bus 900 just went so didnt wait lor must fetch my brother mah...sigh i hate saturday & sunday so boring.

my teeth almost come out due to laughing. i keep laughing for 6 period like that 1 period half an hour mah...hairi lah kept talking noncence but very funny....actually i started first lah then he join me, dahm funny...i kept teasing afiq duno why...i kno lah bad...then got lock outside my house cause my mom havent come home yet...waited at the staircase listening to songs then it began to rain....i wait until so tired..so tired to even move....until i felt wet on my pant then i moved, by then too late already but nvm.......waited half an hour for my mom, she went to fetch my little bro then caught in the rain...so i cannot blame anyone......watching music videos after lunch...

3 days.........school? nothin much to say.
cca? can lah, take over part c, but only 5 people..the all like noncence one, BLOODY HELL, actually not all lah..only all from my class one.......fkuc them lah.they like hor attitude problem.....their ******* never teach ****** can teach wwad .....haiyoho,
then got meething at AVA only for about 45 mins to 1 hours only, then can go home already but stayed back tidy up the ncc room....its in a mess,so messy one, how come?
...until around 5+ the slack inside ncc room all the way until 6 then only found out i have no money left leh...haha.

stayed at home doing nothing.............

today last day of exam...feeling so much relieve, todays EOA paper dahm easy lar...haha,chicken ar!!! haiyah actually tmr plan to go out one, watch spiderman 3 but nobody want to follow then i also dont feel like going liao. so its going to bo dahm boring at home tmr, sat, sun...cant wait till school start, and now i desperately need $$$, planning to work...but dont know want to work at where...anyone can give me suggestions, recomendations?.after all the unpleasent stuff happened i just have to think differently...now i longer can have what i want already...JUne holidays perhaps, i'll go find job...talking about holidays, long time never go Batam already...ou no no!!! dont get the wroung idea, my grandpa live there lar...wanting to go there since last year, my mom lar dont want to go...ok lar maybe my parents busy lar...wonder when i'm going there again......

thats all lar
(need $$$.........)

CPA paper today...i didnt really study for it but its also quite easy lar...tmr got EOA paper study a bit only. hope can pass, infact i wish i can pass all my paper with flying colours...since im not in NA or express i just want to be the best in my class....and tmrs paper will end late...sigh!!! actually i also dont like it when it end early...very boring...

MATHS WAS EASY!!! i thought that it will be very difficult, think i can get top again..at the same time i also dont feel very confident lah...today's paper finish 9.45am so early...actually for the pass few days it has been like that, really got nothing to do, so i went causeway pt with iswandi lar,dont know why he likes to follow me,hah maybe he has no friends to hangout with, since most of the malay friends in my class hate him, cause he's really very irritating thats wad i feel...ou ya back to story, after causeway, i went home, home? nothing to do, so read newspaper, after reading went to fetch my brother...P4 already!!! my mom still dont think he's independent enough..the school not very far wad? aiyah nvm bout that lar...think thats all lar.

science paper got so many unexpected questions. I dont know wad to say lah, so dahm fastrated....went home planning to study for maths paper tmr...ou yah i saw my chinese teacher,mdm Huang, then i remembered our last lesson with her, she explained the meaning of our chinese names...almost everyone in my class...starting i thought that it's lame''ya lame" after listening to her explaining about my friends name, i find it interesting =) haha then i join in...can't wait for my turn, i listened very attentively...btw my chinese name is YU KAI...so i listen lor, she said...'YU' means 'famous' or 'well-known', and 'KAI' 'means full of success' then she elaborate more..ehm she said...i can be famous someday, because of successes...i was very like very shock and glad...OU YEAH i'm gonna be famous and successful...woah!!!...but i was also thinking 'real or not?' haha, just hope it's real lor

yesterday...revise until very late, then today wake up so early.....ehm today nothin to blog about...i studied for science paper er yi lor, the whole afternoon, don't want it to happen again like i did for maths paper 1.....must work extra hard for paper2..

today? for the first time, i felt nervous and worried about my exam...i used to have this kind of feeling but long time lerh...maths 1 paper today, i was quite confident in the morning but then when i do until half way then realise that some of the question didn't forgotten to revise...sigh!...no one to blame except myself ...just hope i'm lucky enough to pull it through. I must revise everything for now maths paper 2 next tuesday only...science also must study, so i don't think i will be using computer anymore until exam period is over...hope i can Tahan...hah.

woah today woke up on time, send my brother to school then only realise i forgotten to bring my chinese books and files which mdm Huang wanted. then rushed home to get it then rush to school again ...chinese paper today, think i can pass,=) finish very early, dont like that... then when to causeway to have breakfast with some frens...then one of my fren say want to watch movie...i called him siao!!! so early, got what movie to watch you tell me? after breakfast when home lor...later must study, maths paper tmr... i dont know why i just have no mood to do anything.

This is my first time blogging, because i always think that blogging is a dahm boring thing, but now i don't have anything better thing to do when i turn on my computer thats why i choose to blog lor......ok lets talk about today...well, rain this morning and woke up late..........school today....lesson as usuall..sigh..then went to scl library to study for maths...as i think i'm lagging, all alone...for 2.5 hrs, so sian leh...but at least i'm doing something....then went home, online and chat wit friends cos got nothing to do...but actually only chatted with one-.- abit worried about tomorrows chinese paper

dont think i will be blogging, chatting, using internet lah everyday........some problems lor, ok lah thats it lor